The Lost Boy
by NewDawnFox
Summary: this is why young jedi knights and purrgills should not mix or what happened to Ezra after the war to free Lothal. one shot.


The lost boy

 **An: I don't own star wars rebels otherwise we would have got another season, Kanan wouldn't be dead and Ezra, well... we don't really know what happened to Ezra. I know Dave Filoni said that Ezra, thrawn and the others that were taken by the purrgills survived (spoilers sorry if you didn't know that, but it was on rebels recon), but he didn't say what happened after that, and considering the five or six year gap between the end of rebels and the end of return of the jedi, something major must have happened.**

 **This is my one shot at telling that story.**

Ezra's pov

"Remember, the force will be with you, always"

I said those words not really knowing whether I would see them again, but I knew it would be alright I had left them that message to give them hope that I would be okay and I was sort of, I knew I had acted like Kanan towards the end, many layered plans to make sure that the goal would be achieved, what can I say I learned from the best. Kanan knew that he might die before I became a jedi knight so even though he didn't prepare me for it on the night that he died, he made sure that the loth - wolf dume was there to fill that role and give me directions to Kanan's last lesson.

That hit me, just like thrawn's shot to my shoulder, like the pain of using the force like I did and am doing. I hoped I passed Kanan's final lesson, a lesson I wished he was still alive to teach me, it was a hard lesson to learn, the emperor showing me my parents like that, if he had included Kanan in that vision, I don't know if I would have been able to stop myself, but lucky I did in time.

Knowing that so many were depending on me. The padawan of Kanan Jarrus, no...jedi knight Ezra Bridger. I had to do this for them, to finish what my parents and Kanan started, even if it cost me my life, just like Kanan showed me two days ago when he gave his life so that Hera, Sabine and I could live and not just us, Hera has a life inside her, I felt it when I was talking to my parent's hologram photograph.

Did she know? did Kanan know? I remember the day well, Kanan had been trying to say something all day to me, to Hera. Would I ever find out what Kanan knew and didn't and would Kanan...would he have wanted me to train the child? a jedi I might be, but a master I am not, I can't be Kanan and I don't want to be.

Thrawn had said about the power that jedi like I wield, that we could do anything we wanted with that power. As I look over at the man wrapped up in the purrgills tentacles, just as Bendu said he would, "I see your defeat ...like many arms surrounding you in a cold embrace" he had said to Thrawn. The creature was so powerful, sending a vision of his speech to me, to Kanan as it faced Thrawn on Atollon, knowing it was choosing it's moment to get it's own back at the empire too.

Kanan trusts...trusted me, just like Bendu, with what was most precious to him, that day and all the days that followed, now I must do the same. I needed Hera and Chopper in the Ghost helping the rebellion, I needed Zeb to mend Kallus's broken heart and Sabine and Ahsoka they know what to do, I can always count on Sabine to do what I can't any more. I trust them, they are my family and I don't think I could have found better.

I can't hold on to the purrgills power anymore I have to let them go, just like I had to let my old family and Kanan go, let Lothal go, let my new family go. I know Kanan told me that jedi believe that there is life beyond death, that we transform. He was at the time speaking of my vision I had with my parents, now I really believe...something of Kanan was in that Dume wolf and maybe he will be here with me right now, I know that doesn't sound like I let him go, but I have at least for now, one day I know I will see him again. I release the purrgill and everything goes white as they jump into hyperspace.

 **CRASH!**

What was that? were Zeb and Chopper fighting again. Another thump hits the ground near me... five more minutes Kanan, can't you wait for a bit before we train? then a smell hits me square in the nose. That is not Zeb or any smell I recognize, just then my eyes fly open and I see for the first time where I am. Sure I was still on the deck of what was left of Thrawn's ship, which must have crashed on the ground of the purrgills hyperspace jump planet. I couldn't give them a direction to go in when I got them to help, I was just glad they did come. The smoke was intense, and by the amount of it filling the room, the ship was on fire, I had to get out of here.

I tried to get to my feet, but then crashed back to the floor again, pain flooding every part of my body. I had only used my whole force power like this once before and Kanan was with me then, helping me deal with the pain, filling my body with his own force power through our bond, saving my life, but still giving me a lecture on not doing it again.

Flashback

"Kanan, it hurts, it hurts" I cried out.

"I know, but using your force powers in that way can kill you. Your just lucky that I am here to hold you together while your body recovers. Just remember Ezra, while you and I look human we are so much more than that. Like non force - sensitive humans we have needed of normal body parts, but we also need the force to live, it runs through our blood, giving us what we need to do what we do, without it we die" Kanan said as continued to heal me.

"Yes Kanan, I won't do it again" I replied.

end of flashback

and what did I do, I over used the force to the point of pain.

"Is that what is happening now?" I thought as I tried to get back to my feet, this time I made it, but I was trembling all over, I wouldn't be able to get very far, hopefully I would be able to get far enough and hide long enough to heal.

"Note to self, never do this with purrgill again, it just isn't worth it" I thought as I took one slow step after another as I made my way out of the cockpit and down the hall, only to fall again when the pain became to much.

"You should watch where your going padawan" said a voice I would know anywhere, a voice for the past few days I wished to hear, even for a moment.

"Kanan" I said softly trying to get my breath back under control, but failing, I knew now what was happening and I was glad he was here with me at the end of all things.

"Who else would it be? come on to your feet jedi knight" Kanan said kneeling in front of me.

"Are you really here?" I asked as I got to my feet again, this time as I walked with Kanan be my side, I made it outside the ship, but it would be enough, already I could hear sounds of life inside the crashed ship, Thrawn and the others would fully wake soon, they would escape this world I had no doubt about that. For myself it had cost me what little strength I had left just to make it this far.

"Does it matter?" Kanan asked, to which I said " no, I am just happy you are here".

This time when I fell after trying to walk a little bit more, I fell straight through a hole in the earth, which opened out into a small cavern filled with kyber crystals of blue, green and white, which knocked out what little breath I had left and I passed out again not knowing if I would ever open my eyes again, but I did feel Kanan right beside me, giving me the strength the only way he could now, by just being there.

I did come too a little later on, I could tell it was night and the cavern was full of starlight from the kyber crystals reflecting the world outside. I could move and Kanan was still here, but it hurt to breathe, my force powers hadn't recovered and wouldn't I was too far gone, I was dying, that is why Kanan is here, he came to get me, to make sure that I didn't go into the next part of my life alone. I was okay with dying, in a way I was even happy that all my struggles would soon be over. I had done what I had set out to do, Lothal would be safe, the empire would be defeated one day, I had seen it in a vision, so I could let go.

It hurt a bit that I would never see big brother Zeb again, laugh with him, play pranks with him on Chopper, I guess Kallus will have to be that now. Hera, who with Kanan became my new parents and even though I didn't really think of them as replacements, I think my mum and dad would be happy that I had found some people that could give me all that a parent should in their place and by the feeling I was getting and how much strong the touch was getting I would be with Kanan again soon and Sabine, the girl I could count on, that I grew up with, who I cared about, I was hoping that she and Ahsoka would find me in time, but it looks like that its going to come too late.

"Ezra, don't give up, you know they will come for you" Kanan said his hand gently running through my hair, which was becoming more solid all the time as the distance between the living force and the cosmic force became closer.

How I had missed this feeling, and our bond which had snapped a few days ago, now was weaving itself back together as I came closer to the point of my death. My eyesight was going and even though I couldn't feel them yet I was sure Kanan was crying. I knew this wasn't what he wanted for me, but there was nothing to do I could do about it now. We could argue about it forever once I joined him if it would make him feel better about it.

"Kanan it's okay, it will be okay. I am not giving up, I am letting them go, just as you did. I am ready to join you now" I said laying back, the pain gone replaced by numbing feelings.

"Alright my son, close your eyes, I will be here when you wake to your new life in the cosmic force, you will even meet your grand master Depa Billiba and what she will have to say to you about what you did" I heard Kanan say before my world turned black and I knew no more.

Sabine's pov

"It's taken seven years, but we have finally found the planet that Thrawn's ship landed on"I said looking around at the twisted reck of the ship.

"Yes if it wasn't for the report on Thrawn we might never have found this place, but Sabine don't get your hopes up. I can't feel him at all, he may not even still be on this planet anymore"Ahsoka said picking her way through the ship's broken cockpit where I was sure signs of what happened could be found.

"He was alive at least when he landed here" I said following the faint dust masks of Ezra's footprints. They showed that he had been very weak when he had made it out of here, then once I made it outside, I followed more marks that lead to a small cavern.

Suddenly Ahsoka put her hand on my shoulder and I knew what I would find inside. Even so, he was so far away from all of us and I knew that this was always a possibility. I knew jedi believe in life after death and I hoped it was true, that after every thing he had suffered and done, that he was safe and now with Kanan in some sort of jedi paradise.

"He deserves to be buried at home" I told her.

Ezra's pov

I watch from a safe distance as the two women go inside to find what ever was left of my body and take it back to their ship, and prepare for the long trip home to Lothal. I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders and I look up to see Kanan. We were both part of the cosmic force now, safe from the pressure of the dark side or anything like that. I had no idea why all this happened to me, to Kanan, to us all.

"We are the balance. We were meant to be jedi. So we could be there for Lothal when she needed us most"Kanan said pulling me closer as we heard soft crying from the cavern where Sabine had gone into.

"Not just Lothal I needed you, just like you needed me" I said wrapping my arm around him, just before we faded away, finally free.

 **An: favorites and follows are good, reviews are better. tell me what you think, did something like this happen to Ezra? or will Sabine and Ahsoka be in time? I would love to hear anyone's theories. until next time may the force be with you always.**


End file.
